Dear Parents: Are You Funding Your Adult Child's Vacations Without Gratitude in Return?

Grown children can be the best traveling companions or the worst

A vacation is supposed to be relaxing-so why are you stressed before the plane even takes off?

Let’s talk about something I hear from clients all the time:

"Caren, I booked a beautiful vacation. Paid for my grown kids to come. And guess what? Now they’re not going. Or worse—now they’re complaining."

I get it. As a parent, you love your kids. You want to create memories, spend time together, and maybe even relive the days when a family trip meant fun, smiles, and no one checking their phone at dinner (a dream, right?).

And don’t get me wrong—some grown kids are wonderful travel companions. They say thank you. They show up. They chip in. They even make you glad you booked that extra ocean-view room.

But then there are the others. You know the ones. The ones who cancel two weeks after final payment because “something came up.” The ones who never really wanted to go in the first place but didn’t say a word until you’ve already dropped a few thousand dollars.

Or worse yet, the ones you try to meet halfway. You pay the deposit (because you’re nice). You give them a YEAR to come up with the rest. And what do they say on the day of final payment?

"Oh... I don’t have it."

Not, “I tried.” Not, “Can we work something out?” Just flat-out no effort. And deep down, you know they could afford it. They just didn’t want to spend their own money on a vacation you offered to help with.

Cue the frustration. Cue the disappointment. And cue a conversation that should’ve happened months ago.

Let’s Be Honest…

If you're footing the bill for someone’s vacation—especially a grown adult—you deserve appreciation, participation, and communication. If you’re getting eye rolls, or "I did not want to go from the start", it might be time to reevaluate.

Vacations are an investment—of money, time, and emotion. And no one wants to invest in a trip that ends in resentment.

What Can You Do?

1. Have a Clear Conversation Up Front

   Let them know your expectations: Are you paying for the whole trip? Just the deposit? Will they be responsible for their own spending money? Be clear. Be kind. Be firm.

2. Don’t Be Afraid to Say “No”

   If you’re already stressed just thinking about traveling with them—don’t go down that road. Travel should bring joy, not dread.

3. Let Them Stay Home

   If they’re not into it, let them sit this one out. You’ll enjoy yourself more, they’ll survive, and guess what? You can send them a postcard from paradise.

Bottom Line

Some grown kids are a joy to travel with. They bring laughter, love, and make the whole trip better. But if you find yourself constantly disappointed, out of pocket, or feeling taken for granted… it’s okay to say:

“This time, you’re on your own.”

Travel is a gift. Not an obligation. And your peace of mind is worth more than a first-class ticket.

Need help planning your next family trip—or maybe a peaceful solo getaway instead? Contact me at It’s Time for A Vacation. Just don’t ask me to call your kids for you.

📞 (800) 403-1917

🌍 www.carenbushagency.com/blog

📧 Caren.Bush@AvoyaNetwork.com